I just wanted someone to say this to and I know no one will read this but sometimes friends can hurt you more than other people.

So I have this friend who I've been best friends with for year but we've always been in a big group of 5 to 6 girls. Anyway because of quarantine I've been looking back at my past with my friends and suddenly realised how mean and toxic this friend has been to everyone. It started when she started primary school. It was a small school so everyone new each other and it was lovely until she came. I knew I didn't like her from the beggining but once the friend group started liking her then I did too. But then it was like the middle of year 6 and she started like teasing me, calling me names like small and skinny. But that didn't worry me much, then we went into high school and it was okay until we would get into arguments. 2 girls then left the group and 2 new girl joined. This toxic friend really didn't like one of them and called her names behind her back like ugly and fat. it started to settle down, but we would still get into fights because she would tease us all. She would ask us if it was her fault and I would always try to be a nice friend and say no and make up an excuse about something at home. Then in year 8 she made most of the girls turn on me and they would accuse me of calling them names and bullying them. I got really depressed at that point. Then later through the year they decided that they wanted to kick me and the newish girl out of the group. They said they just want a break and to be with each other. Which also made me really depressed so I went off with another group but the other girl got really upset so we had a meeting with one of the nicest teachers, that kinda settled things out but me and the other girls don't hang out with them as much. We'll Karmas a b**ch, so after a couple of weeks the girls got into a fight and 2 of them left the toxic b**ch by herself. But unfortunately they are starting to become friends again. I just wish I had one best friend that I can hang out with now.