My husband and I have been married 4 years. We both want kids but never talked about when. Here lately he said we can try. But we only have sex once a month and he said to leave it up to chance. I have really bad periods. I got through two boxes of tampons, have nausea spells all while on my period. I've considered trying birth control to help with the symptoms but he refuses. I told him it's not all that easy to try have a baby by have sex once a month. I asked him would he be upset if I got on birth control since we aren't actively trying he still refuses. He says I put dates on things which frustrates him. By dates I tell him when I ovulate and when I'm in my fertile window. In my heart it just feels like he doesnt want it as bad as I do and I'm in pain once a week each month for no reason. I've thought about just getting birth control behind his back, which is wrong but I'm just tired of being in pain and we aren't having sex as much to try to have a baby. I want a baby more than anything but the pain is getting to be too much. Advice??