My bf and I have been together for a little over a year and we live together. Lately I've been noticing shifts in his behavior that are starting to really scare me.

We live with his longtime friend who is just a fucking racist. They were NOT like this when I moved in. I go to protests but I'm quiet and I don't talk about it except to my dude. I'm black, so this issue is especially close to my heart. My roommates keep bringing up black issues and trash talking the protestors, dragging me in, then when I refuse to participate because I know what the outcome will be, i get told my opinion is wrong or that black people need to "gtfo over it" or asked to defend my blackness and holy fuck it is so invalidating and exhausting to deal with when they specifically do this to me only because I'm black and they want someone to argue with. Most times I don't engage. I learned the hard way that if I have an opinion and express it, I'll just get shouted down and basically told the generational trauma and decades long tears of abuse of my entire race isn't as bad as it looks and that their feelings matter more than the lives and well being of my family.

My boyfriend is useless. He tells me not to bring it up at all. I never do unless it's to tell him in our private room how I feel because he's my partner and also is POC. I would love to move, he sees no problem with our living arrangements. He gets defensive if I bring up issues. So i can't express my feelings to him without being shut down.

I also have a problem with restrictive eating, where I just pretty much won't eat all day. This started last year but it got worse this one when my grandmother died. I don't do this every day but every time I try to talk to my man about this he gets angry. He says that I just need to eat and I've tried to tell him it's not that simple and I have control and depression and anxiety issues that are also playing in but he just....Idk what he thinks. If I knew how to stop it from getting worse, I would but I don't.

I don't feel supported by him at all and this makes me so sad. He doesn't drive and I earn most of the $$$ in the relationship. I decided yesterday it's better to keep in the IUD for a bit even if it hurts me because I just don't want to get pregnant by this man. I'm starting to question if he loves me or if he only ever saw me as an easy answer to his problems. He says he loves me but sometimes I don't see it.

I feel trapped. I love him but i wonder if I can be truly happy with him.