This is more to organize my feelings than anything but I'm also wondering if anyone else is struggling. My LO is 4 days old and I'm really questioning how long to breastfeed or if I really even want to.

My first son is 17 months old. We really struggled with breastfeeding initially and I mostly ended up EPing and bottle feeding him while still trying to offer boob at least once a day. Many tears were shed. He wasn't able to latch without a shield and nurse successfully until about 3 months old and we nursed until he was 8 months and my supply depleted (plus the whole biting with teeth thing).

LO latched better from the get go but is a lazy little snacker. I only have 6 weeks of leave (I had 12 with my first, different job) and know he'll be bottle fed for sure then. One of the big reasons my supply depleted with #1 was not having the time to pump more than once at my new job and I'm anticipating that will probably happen again. Between both kiddos I really don't feel like I have time to power pump like I did before. I've already had to give #2 a bottle because of very painful clogged ducts on both breasts (now just one side thankfully but it's a bitch). I know fed is best. My heart just isn't in it this time. Time, energy, longevity, etc are huge factors but I can't help but feel that I have to justify (if I) switch to formula. To myself? I feel very conflicted. Right now I think I'll try to keep it up these 6 weeks, pump here and there, and just roll with it depending on supply and everything once I'm back to work.

😩