Can you be in a relationship with someone who hasn’t healed yet?

Ive been absolutely head over heels over a guy for 8 months. We’re just friends, but we’ve said things that friends don’t say to eachother. We also send eachother nudes (hes the only guy ive ever sent nudes to)

The thing is, when we first started getting to know eachother, he would disappear for weeks and come back. And this would be an on going cycle. He kept apologizing and doing it again. I always forgave him even though it bothered me.

I started disappearing on him as well to try and get over him, but he’d message me asking why i’m being distant.

Now, after 3 weeks of not talking, he tells me why he disappeared on me and that i deserve to know. He told me he is still in love with his emotionally abusive ex. He opened up to me and told me EVERYTHING. I love helping him out and being there for him but i feel like a rebound in a way. I feel like i’m someone he comes to when his relationship doesnt work out.

Idk how to feel bc i dont know what we are. We’re “friends” but there have been times where he said if he was ready for a relationship he would marry me. (This was while he was still hurt over his ex)

Should i just lose hope in this and accept the fact that it wont work? Should i still be there for him as a friend even though i love him? Should i just let him heal and cut him off completely?

Im extremely emotionally drained and i need some honest advice :(