Emotionally tired
I really thought this would be the cycle that I got pregnant. I've tracked ovulation, temped, charted used pre seed and took all my vitamins and folic acid. I've been trying since I was 21 years old and I'll be 30 in 2 months. Ive lost 4 babies and I just can't seem to keep it together anymore. Im not happy or myself anymore. I find myself bawling and sobbing daily. I'm happily married with two step kids and I love them to the end of this world and back but at the end of the day they have a mother and don't need me at all. I'm tired of just being a step mom. Someday I would love to hear a little voice look up at me and say mommy. I'm just venting to the world because my soul is sad and broken and I'm at a stand still in my life. I've recently had cervical surgeries which were benign and the gyno said she didn't seem to understand why I have trouble getting pregnant and staying pregnant and to be honest doesn't seem like many care. I know it breaks my husbands heart to watch me cry all the time about it. I just don't know what to do at this point. We take breaks from trying from time to time but each time it seems to get harder. I just want to be happy again and not this soul searcher finding my place in life. I'm so ready to go to heaven to hold the babies that I lost in my arms forever so I know I never have to let them go again. I try to talk to my family about it but they all have kids and never had to go thru this so they don't really understand and most don't really care. I almost feel like I'm alone in this big ol world and the sadness has weighed me down so much that I can't get back up. Again just venting because I don't really have anyone I can pour my heart out to that's not tired of hearing my broken record. Thank you to everyone that took the time to read this and God bless.
Let's Glow!
Achieve your health goals from period to parenting.