I’ve always wanted a big family. I always seen myself having at least 5 kids. My grandmother has 5 kids so we had a lot of fun growing up. She has 20 something grandkids. I loved growing up with my cousins, playing on my Pappaws farm.

I have two girls right now, and I do want more but my last pregnancy was extremely hard. I had depression so bad I was suicidal, I stayed severely nauseas throughout the entire pregnancy, heartburn so bad I would almost puke and it would wake me up in the middle of the night, and third trimester insomnia was very bad. Oh and I had to see a heart dr because my resting heart rate would stay above 100, sometimes being in the 120s. I also stayed anemic and could seriously never catch my breath because my baby was up so high. I am literally terrified of getting pregnant again. I want to experience it again as far as feeling my baby grow and kick but I’m afraid of being miserable for 9 months again. My husband doesn’t want to adopt right now.

Maybe I am just going to be a mom of two. I’ve talked to a family member of mine who only had two children and they are grown and out of the house now. Her and her husband regret not having more. Does anyone regret not having more? I’m afraid I will. It’s like I don’t want to be miserable for 9 months but I got through it once, and it was so worth it in the end. I’m just lost and my husband doesn’t understand because he’s a man!! I need a woman’s point of view.