still bedsharing?

Question

we are still bed-sharing, but i feel as though my husband i are not getting enough sleep. my lo takes up so much room and every little movement wakes him up and then he has to nurse back to sleep and sometimes he wants to use me as a pacifier. then i can’t go back to sleep. i have wanted to sleep train for a while now but i feel guilty.

Answer

Don’t feel guilty about sleep training. It will be tougher at this age, but worth it.

Answer

Do you have a crib? We have the face off the crib and it's pushed up to the bed. He use to fall asleep in my arms or on me but the bigger he gets the more independent he's becoming. I use to put him in his crib and like an hour later he'd be in my arms. Now he won't even snuggle me to sleep. He goes into his crib and stays there. Once he gets older we'll put him in his room but I love having him close to me.

Answer

Do whatever works best for your family. Everyone needs sleep to be healthy. However, I personally am against sleep training but only you know what’s best for your baby. If you’re ready to make some gentle changes then it might be time to try something new!

Answer

Sleep training has been the best thing we did! I do think it’ll be a bit more difficult at this age, but go at your own pace and whatever you can emotionally handle!

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My son was just like this (polar opposite to my first). He seemed like he wanted to nurse so badly but would grunt and squirm and I’d be flipping him from aide to side all night. We sleep trained him and figured out it was because he needed his room and wanted to sleep on his tummy! That was around 6 months and it has never changed lol.

Answer

This was us as well. I loved bedsharing but unfortunately my son didn't sleep better this way and neither did I. 😥 I eventually sleep trained at 12 months. We slept on his floor on a mattress at first and that really helped. Then we did check-ins every 5 minutes but these made it worse and we eventually had to let him cry it out when he'd wake in the night. It was so hard for me, I just can't handle hearing him cry. 😥 He adjusted very quickly though. And his cry was never a scared and lonely cry, more of an angry cry. He never cried longer than 20 minutes  and it wasn't distraught, like I said it was more of yelling. He'd stop, lay down and try to sleep, stand back up and yell again. He'd do this for a bit and then fall asleep.

Answer

I could have written your post. We bedshared, did not sleep train and my son is now sleeping in his own bed and room. I loved bedsharing but we were waking him up and he had a hard time settling down for bed. 
We started a routine focused on his room. Bath, run around naked, dress, read books, nurse and then down in the pack n play with a bottle and lots of reassurance that he could do it. 
I refused to let him cry it out so my husband and I agreed that one of us would go in every 5-10 minutes and comfort him and we wouldn’t let him fuss past 15 minutes no matter what. 
We explained everything that would be happening because we felt like he understood. So we talked about how he would sleep in his own bed, we were still there, he was safe. 
The first night he was out within 15 minutes. My husband went in once to reassure him. Every night after that, he was out in 5-10. He only fussed here and there the first week. 
He’s been sleeping in his own bed for a month, gets way more sleep and is ready for it when we leave the room. 
We tried this at around 7 months and 11 months and it did not work. We weren’t ready and he wasn’t ready and like I said, I refused to let him cry it out. This time around, he was ready at 14 months. We are all getting better sleep. He still wakes occasionally once at night but if he doesn’t fall back asleep right away, I nurse him for like five minutes and he’s good to go. Once he had three weeks down, we went to Ikea and got a twin bed for him and his sleep is even better. 
Do what works for you and your family and work not to feel bad about whatever you decide. You are bonded to him and you know what’s best. I can definitely relate to the pull to keep him in bed and at the same time get him in his own bed.

Answer

18+ and up it gets easier. 
Definitely try to do naps in their own bed. 
My daughter was in her bed fill time by 2 years. 
My son is on the same track. Just remind yourself and your husband this is a short time and it's a phase

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We sleep trained about a month ago. I did it gradual. Bessy thing ever having him able to put himself to sleep

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We used to room share with my daughter until she was about 8 or 9 months old. I felt terrible moving her into her room but just after a few nights of sleeping separately, I realized how much we were waking each other up. We didn’t sleep train, we just transitioned her into her bed. I started with putting her in there for naps and then made the leap one night to putting her down in her own bed. She would still wake up through the night and I would go in to comfort her, but even this was a lot less than when we shared a room which helped me feel more rested. 
I think once she was about a year she began sleeping through the night entirely. She is human so she wakes up sometimes, but most times she gets herself back to sleep. If I have to go in and rock or nurse her back to sleep it’s usually because she’s teething or not feeling well. I’ve heard a lot of people love sleep training, it is not for us. Maybe just try transitioning little one into their own bed then see if sleep training is even needed? Just that transition made a huge positive impact on our sleep!

still bedsharing?

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