I miss being pregnant. I had a better connection with her when I was pregnant. My doctor prescribed me antidepressants but I haven’t taken them because my mood feels better now well for the most part but I just can’t seem to bond with her. I’m trying to not let her be aware I’m talking to her and interacting with her even when I don’t want to.

I care so much about her and I know I love her but I don’t feel it. I’m always checking that she is breathing and I’m always paranoid there is an issue with her. She’s honestly the most beautiful little baby she deserves sooo much more than me.