Im not even sure how to start this. About three years ago, I had a gf. Her name is Samya. I loved her. We started dating after only knowing each other for 4 days... yes. 4 days. I told her it was too soon and we didn’t really know each other but she was positive that we were meant to be together.

You can already imagine, the relationship ended badly about 6 months later. I broke up with her because that’s essentially what my mom wanted. When I came out to her, it was horrible. She was begging me to be “normal”. Saying that it was just a rebellious phase to get back at her for whatever reason. She even asked me where she went wrong in her parenting that made me this way. None of that really fazed me until she asked me, don’t I want to have biological children between my partner and I. If there’s one thing in this world that I’m meant to be, is a mother and I feel like she kind of took advantage of that in this moment... but I agreed with her. I wanted a baby that was half of me and also half of the love of my life and I couldn’t have that with her. Please keep in mind that we were about 16 at the time. She even let me wear makeup for the first time and “allowed” me to have a boyfriend if I wanted.

Anyway, I broke up with her the next day. She was hurt and so was I. But I didn’t allow myself to show it. I just went through the motions. I didn’t want to suffer. I didn’t want to even process what I was doing. She then began telling everyone that I broke her heart. She had people I never even spoke too, making comments about my sexuality and how I was confused. She started saying that I shouldn’t consider myself bisexual because I had decided to no longer date females, but that doesn’t take away the attraction, just my personal lifestyle choice. We argued about this sooo many times, even got suspended over it. She just couldn’t accept it.

But I don’t want you to think that she was perfect either. During our relationship, she was literally chasing behind someone else. Trying to get her attention. She admitted that she had a crush on the other girl but that it shouldn’t matter because she would never cheat but It felt like she already was. Emotionally anyway.

I had her blocked on Facebook for almost 3 years now. An hour after I unblocked her, she sent me a friend request and I accepted it. Having her on my Facebook just brings back old memories. Part of me is still upset because she allowed people who didn’t even know me to bash me and speak on my sexuality. The fact that I was the bad person for breaking up with her when she was literally chasing someone else during our relationship. But part of me also just wants to talk to her. I don’t know about what. Maybe I want to be her friend again, I don’t know.

I’m also in a relationship with my fiancé so I don’t want to disrespect him or hurt his feelings. Would it be so bad to reach out to her? But what would I even say?