Recently at the end of may my boyfriend of 1 year (best friend for 3) broke up with me. He started to get distant and tell me that things don’t feel the same as it used to. I understood because we spent a lot, more than we should have, time together. We distanced from our friends and I know he fell out of love with me. When the breakup occurred, what I got from the conversation was that he needed space but found a few days later he actually meant break up. During the break up he kept saying Things like “I just don’t know” “what if this is the wrong decision” and emphasized that he needed space and time. I gave him many times to say he was out for good but I couldn’t feel like he could say it. We layed together and he was crying and saying he loves me, kissing me on the forehead and by the end I asked “is this it” he said “I don’t want it to be. When I got home he texted me and told me that he was emotionally and mentally drained and that he needed to reset. Said he loved me endlessly and he would do his best “for me”. A few Days later he was hanging with a mutual friend and they were catching up and while I had been telling everyone he needed space he was telling them we were broken up. When he talks to my friends about it he says that he just wasn’t feeling it as much as I was. I was fully invested and he felt we had different goals. He told a friend he wants me to move on and be happy.

The conversations I had with him during the breakup and a little after vs. what he tells people makes me question everything. I love him through anything and would do anything for him and I felt our relationship wasn’t bad it was good to me maybe just needed some adjusting. I have no hate for him.

What do I do ? How do I ease my anxiety? This whole thing has me completely off guard and I don’t know how to deal with it because I feel he gave me things to dwell on