The past few months have been sorta crazy. Let me explain a bit. I've had two pregnancy scares ( not really scares but more like disappointments), I'm 38 ,two girls, and this is the first time since my youngest that I really want another baby. I'm extremely high risk and was told by my OB that I shouldn't have anymore children due to my medical issues. 10 months into My New relationship with my fiance, I find myself wanting another child. I've told him that I really want another baby ( he's got 4 girls of his own, which are relatively all grown-up) and he's on the same boat with me.

Ok last month was hard, I never cried so much after getting my period. I was devastated. ( Especially, after feeling unusually off and really noticing that everyone I have seen is pregnant and so on. ) He asked me why I started crying. I told him that I really wanted to be pregnant. He Just held me and told me that it's ok.

Now this month I notice slightly different changes. Spotty, fatigued, more hungry then usual, boobs hurt a bit more and a little bit fuller. ( I just had to readjust My bra this morning) I've also been a moody crazy lady lately... But I'm due for My period next week. Which is why I'm Just so confused.

With My youngest after conception I got My period ( wasn't even implantation spotty it was My full on period). I'm rambling on. It's just sometimes I find it hard to explain things to people who don't understand that it's hard for us women who have a ton of medical issues and have issues trying to get pregnant.