Would you marry someone if their family were toxic?

Question

You know the saying, “you don’t just marry your partner, you marry the family”.  So, would you give their family much consideration before marrying or having children with someone?  Why or why not?
My fiancé’s family are toxic, but they have been removed from lives like a cancer.  But I think if I had known how unbelievable their behaviour was, I would have definitely approached with a lot more caution.

Answer

Yep.  Wouldn’t give up on someone I love because of their shitty family. They can fuck right off, it’s not hard. I’ve cut off most of my family because they’re really toxic

Answer

If your partner isn’t willing to set boundaries, definitely do not get married. You will always be second to their shitty family and things will never get better. But not just simply having a toxic family-as long as your partner sets boundaries and works on their own issues.

Answer

It depends on how he handles them.

Answer

Depends on if my spouse has my back or not. If not, no i wouldnt marry them.

Answer

Read the books “Things I wish I’d known before I got married” by Gary Chapman and “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud. 
Use the first one to talk with your husband about how close he is with his family and the second to set boundaries with the family. 
I’m currently going through a similar issue with my own parents. Whatever you both decide he needs to be the one to tell them the new rules. if it comes from you they will try to turn him against you and blame it all on you rather then blaming him. 
Sorry you have to deal with this. Not all children are as crazy as their parents. If he’s worth it fight for him. Good luck!!

Answer

Depends how they handle their family. If they co-sign or allow them to influence or cross boundaries then noooooo way.

Answer

How he handles it is the basis I'd decide that question on

Answer

As long as ties have been cut then I would say yes. But if they're still going to be involved in mine/my SOs life then no.

Answer

I think that more importantly, I would take a look on how they deal with their own family, despite their behavior. It is important that my partner acknowledges how his family behaves AND does not give in to everything they want to "keep the peace". 
People are not responsible for their family's behavior and it is unfair to judge them based on that, but we can absolutely judge them based on how much their family can get away with in that person's life.

Answer

No I’ve never believed “you marry the family”, that’s bullshit. I use to really like my MIL but as time goes on I see how toxic she really is and It’s just really irritating now. My FIL is just a straight up selfish asshole. I still plan on saying yes and marrying my boyfriend if/when he proposes.

Would you marry someone if their family were toxic?

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