Third baby.... I want to try to BF this time. No negativity please!

I used formula (all for formula never been against it)👍🏻🤗 with both my 2 babies. I’ve been a teacher I’m a SAHM now. I didn’t really Persue BF I really didn’t have interest (then) and pumping at work, and kids knocking on the door. I just didn’t then. Like all of my 5 sister in laws are masters! BF their babies for over a year! I just need help. My mom didn’t BF me so I really didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. I always pushed the lactation consultant at the hospital away and let my milk dry up when it came in at home.

How do I go about “learning” I’m embarrassed to say. But I’d really like to pump more than anything. I’m afraid of the pain, but I feel like if I push through the “wall” I could do it. (I’ve said that to someone and they said “You must really don’t want to then”) It’s not that 🤦🏽‍♀️it’s I literally have NO idea what I’m doing!