Bare with me. It may be long. And all Over the place. I just can’t think straight anymore.

My husband and I have been together for 20 years. Married for 10. We are both in our early 30s and have been together since middle/high school. We have five children from the ages of 15-18months.

My husband is a wonderful person, with a heart of gold.

But I feel like I’ve lost him.

he is an alcoholic and I believe using different prescription pain pills. He has had numerous problems in the past but swears he isn’t using anymore.

I can’t get past the lies and lack of trust.

But we have a bigger problem.

Not only do he and our oldest have the most volatile and heartbreaking relationship, he’s verbally abusive when he’s really mad (or drunk).

I’m constantly stuck in the middle and trying to play sides of who is right and wrong, who needs to apologize... etc.

I’m falling apart and can’t fix him when he doesn’t see a problem.

What do I do?!?! 💔