Feeling really emotional. My son is 10 months today. He is such a smart little man who loves to explore. He has hit every milestone and has made me so proud to be his mama.

I took a 12 month maternity leave. The last month I have been working on changing his sleep routine in preparation him to go to daycare.

But now it’s time to start weaning him from breastfeeding. On Monday I dropped his two nap feeds. The first time he was so upset that I took the boob away but now has adjusted very well.

At bedtime he gets a bottle but we do a little cuddle/breastfeeding session if he needs a little more before falling asleep. My intention was to stop the bedtime feed this weekend but last night he was falling asleep with the bottle and I got him in the crib when he started stirring. Usually I would pick him up and nurse him till he fell asleep and put him down for the night but I decided to see what he would do if I didn’t nurse him. I rubbed his back for 5 minutes and he fell asleep! I closed the door and sank into my husbands arms crying that he didn’t need my milk to fall asleep. He slept 10 hours straight last night.

I kept thinking that he was dependant on my milk to fall asleep but really I was dependant on it. I’m so upset that our journey has come to an end. I thought I was ready and it’s surprising me that I’m crying so much over this.

Today I’m going to cuddle him and nurse him one last time. I’m going to take in his smell, watch how his hands grab my bottom lip and tickle my side or play with my hair.