I don’t feel pretty

Hey guys!

So I’m not writing this for attention or anything, I truly feel this way.

I have always had trouble with self esteem, loving myself and body image issues. I don’t really feel like anything is special about me. I know I shouldn’t, but I do compare myself to other girls.

I even had an eating disorder 7th through 10th grade. I recovered from the eating disorder completely, but some aspects will always be with me.

When I started dating my now fiancé I finally started loving myself. He showed me all the good qualities about myself. And I actually felt pretty for once. I felt free, and excepted.

My fiance has been away at marine basic training for 4 weeks now. I have handled it well. I have kept myself busy and all that. I definitely can handle being a marine spouse because I am fine on my own.

However, I now think to myself. Why does he want me. Why does a good looking man like him want just an average, short, no-boob girl, with major anxiety?

I know that sounds harsh on myself, but if I could grow boobs, get a flatter stomach (even tho I try so hard and excercise) and feel more pretty and confident in myself I would.

I went to my mom saying I miss him cause he always made me feel pretty and I started crying. She then said that I ruined the beach weekend because we’ve all been happy up until this point. Those are the ooo exact words I didn’t need at this point.

I don’t know I guess I needed to rant.