Ladies - I need some advice and I’m curious if anyone has been in a similar situation as I am in right now.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. I want to start out by saying that he’s a wonderful person, we love each other (no doubt about that) there’s respect happiness and honesty in the relationship we’re just having some disagreements about heavy life stuff.

Basically I’m getting ready to move out to my own place with a roommate, and I asked my boyfriend if he would be interested in moving with me instead.

He says that it is something he’s thought about, but financially he is not able to do so at this moment. Long story short, he has debt that he’s paying off (student loans / ex that cheated and left him with all this expenses because she wouldn’t take responsibility for her end).

unfortunately he will not be able to apply for a credit card until this is taken care of.

So the financial reasons, understandable.

The thing that is bothering me however is coming from an emotional level. I was asking once the expenses are paid off if he thinks he would be ready then to move in. And he said he didn’t know. So I asked him why, and he opened up to me about all the toxic people he’s lived with in his life - including the ex - and now he’s been living in like a studio alone and it’s made him a little bit of a recluse and he’s having to relearn like how to be okay with sharing a space with someone again - especially lately - since I’ve mostly been sheltering with him (I have family with a mental disability that I help take care of through all this). But he says what he’s afraid of his that we get a place together, right, and that he starts to resent me because he’ll start to feel like I’m invasive (even though he said he knows I wouldn’t be). I know a lot of his fears stem from how his previous relationship failed.

Anyways, I made it very clear to him that moving in with my partner, and in this case him, is something I really really want down the road. Especially since our relationship has been going so well. But I fear when the time comes to make this happen, he still won’t want it, and I fear that this disagreement could and would be the downfall of our relationship.

So should I try to make it work or save the heartache for both of us now?