I think about it a lot. Having a second child, and being pregnant again. I think about how my daughter would be the best big sister in the world, and I wonder how her reaction would be when she first sees her sibling. I think about telling my husband that I’m pregnant and I imagine how excited he would be. Every single month is a struggle. I hide my emotions inside but I’m breaking. I can’t deal with the fact that I might never have another child. It breaks my heart more and more each day. I can’t think about the fact that my daughter will grow up alone, without anyone to fight with and then instantly make up. I wonder how my husband would react to meeting his second child and how he would be around his son or daughter in the future. It’s hard to be hopefully when every single month I feel the same emotions but the hope fades. It’s so difficult testing to see if I’m pregnant even though I know I’m not. I’m so blessed to have my daughter in my life. But there will always be a void in her life without siblings, and no matter what I try to do to fill that void it will never be. I know my husband thinks about this all the time although he never discusses it. It’s too painful.