It does get better. 💙

I am starting off with saying that my entire childhood i suffered PTSD,Anxiety, Depression and adjustment disorder that just grew and got worse over the years. If you go back and read some of my earlier post that might help you understand.

I was so depressed and overwhelmed at one point back in 2016 right before Thanksgiving that i actually asked my doctor if it was nornal to still feel depressed and think about suicide even with being on medication which is never normal or okay and you definitely need to speak up before it gets too much to handle. And that ended me spending a week in a hospital and leaving with having to do outpatient meetings and 6 different medications for a good couple of months. And it was okay until i had to come off the meds and went through 2-3 weeks of withdrawals which was completely hellish and why i really dont like medication but when it gets too much and natural things aren't quiet helping like they should is when i agree to them now. But i learned how to cope with music and and writing and honestly helping other people with their problems and mental health was the biggest distraction and help and pretty much making my baby brother my own child.. he literally saved my life and he doesn't even know it.

But there was years upon years even up until last year when i was inbetween 20-21 years of age i struggled soo much it wasn't funny at all. I felt alone and even though i kept being told.. "it gets better, The strongest people have the hardest battles" i honestly wanted to punch people when they said that. And a few times last year i still contemplated suicide.

But im here today to tell anyone who has thought about it. struggling off and on with it. or is STILL thinking about it. I PROMISE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, SUICIDE ISN'T THE ANSWER AND YOU WILL BE GLAD ONE DAY WHEN YOU LOOK BACK AND LOOK AT WHERE YOU'VE MADE IT TO.

It does get better. And it may not seem like it now to you, but im truly saying, from someone who has personally been in those shoes.. its not worth it.

I kept fighting even with attempts to commit suicide.. and i am glad im still here. I never thought i would finally find someone to not only love me even in my brokenness and hurt, but to stand by me and even try and help even when they dont understand the depths of it all, i never thought i would have a chance to be pregnant and to be doing a countdown of bringing my daughter into this world, and i sure as heck didn't think i would be engaged to the most wonderful man and starting a new job, working on graduation from high school, turning 22, and have a car and almost a place to live but i do. I have all of that.

It's still a struggle to keep my depression and anxiety down, but i made it through some of the hardest years of my life.

Everything i went through, all the people who have left me, hurt me, lied to me, traded me, treated me as i was nothing, even having to cut toxic people out of my life... is worth it to be where i am today.

And i want you to know and believe that it's going to be okay and you ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE IT.

And if anyone needs to talk, i am more than willing to listen and help anyway i can without judgement.

Jusy remember, to smile because you look beautiful with it on, and there's only one you in this world, so ROCK IT!!