More then porn? 😭

So I found out my partner was watching PORNLIVE (CAMGIRLS)(he knows im not a fan of regular porn)as I went to use his phone And it was left open on a tab. Anyway a week later his BANK STATEMENT come in the mail wet so I spread it out to dry. We have our FIRST 2 month old baby and noticed all the $2.80 charges from hospital ("coke-cola" the vending machiene) and was making jokes about how much we didn't realise we got to his mum(LITERALLY 1 PAGE lol). Then I started seeing all these other charges to echst.net (porn). I confronted him he said sorry I won't do it again.( I explained how hurt I felt due to having a 1 month old baby at the time). I asked him why he felt the need to "sign up" and he refused to tell me. So I went snooping and the extra perk that broke my heart was "message members" which I now can't get this sick feeling out of my head, heart or stomach that he's signed up for more then just watching porn. Mind you a large amount of money was added up in total. When I told him he rang and had his card blocked towards the company. (We have been together for 7 years, And although he didn't give me permission there and then to open his mail, he has in the past as he is a truck driver so he is comming and going all the time). So I don't need comments saying i have invaded his privacy.

I have never felt more insecure or ugly in my life. Can't help but when he tries to be loving/kind but to feel discusted with him and give him the cold shoulder. He keeps asking me what's wrong as I've been verry quiet (Not my usual self) and gets mad when I say "nothing" "I don't want to talk about it". He says you have to talk about it (keeps questioning if I have postpartum depression) in which I have replied no. So he doesn't have to explain why he "signed up" for porn but I have to tell him what's wrong/ what I'm feeling?! Get F****D!!