6w1day ultrasound

So finally got to see our little bean yesterday and that beautiful heart beating. This is my third pregnancy but second baby. I don’t know how anyone else feels but having experienced a loss I have been an anxious mess.

Back story: we had an early loss with our first then difficulty getting pregnant again. Through fertility treatments and an IUI we got pregnant with our son. I was nervous through the whole first trimester and about when I started relaxing at the 20 week scan they told us something was wrong with his heart. Turns out he had a congenital heart defect that would have to be corrected soon after he was born or he would not make it. Enter the anxiety once more. At 1 week old he had open heart surgery and I am happy to report he is now 15 months old and both happy and healthy.

So we decided to go back to fertility for a second baby. I have always wanted 3 kids but my husband only wants 2. This time it took 2 IUIs and we are now pregnant with our second.

What I am currently struggling with is trying to enjoy this pregnancy since I most definitely did not enjoy the last. Even my baby shower was clouded with the impending surgery. I want to be one of those women that loves being pregnant and I understand what a gift it is but it’s so hard to calm the anxiety and just enjoy the ride.

Even if my husband agreed to a 3rd child I just don’t know that I want to do this again. I’m not usually an anxious person and this is awful. Hats off to the people who struggle with daily overwhelming anxiety and still manage to function.

So all of that to say anyone else dealing with pregnancy anxiety and what do you do for it?