So I am 17 I have struggled with anxiety all my life. But for the past two years my anxiety got worse and I have depression my house hold isn’t exactly stable. My mum and her husband are toxic asf they blame everything on me and everyone all the time. I tried to tell my mum about how I’ve been feeling and she said I’m fine. See she doesn’t understand I cry myself to sleep every night. She is never home I am always home alone. I have panic attacks maybe a few times every few weeks. And most days I feel good but then some days I feel really bad like I can barely get out of bed some days and I’m just emotionally exhausted. I put a smile on my face everytime Im around people but when I’m alone I let it all out. I feel so alone in this world my mother treats me like shit and it hurts. I tried telling my mum I was sexually assaulted few months ago she laughed in my face she didn’t believe me. I only have my mum and her husband I don’t have any family besides them. I have friends but most of the time I push them away because I was abandoned when I was little by my father and by a few people I’ve been with. I am scared of letting people in but most of the time I don’t realise I’m doing it. I just don’t feel like I fit in this world. I don’t have any money I tried getting a job but because of the virus I can’t. I am studying to study beauty soon but it’s in a few weeks. I just feel like I’m constantly drowning. No one understands how I feel most of the time I feel stupid for feeling like this. I don’t really have anyone and I just don’t know how long I can fight for I am so tired of living like this. I just feel so lost and I just don’t know anymore