I sometimes dream about my first abortion was at 17 with the abortion pill. The second one was with the surgical abortion a few weeks ago and can’t stop thinking about it I’m married my husband says it was probably the boy he always wanted we have a 1 year old daughter he never agreed with the abortion. He looked sad and like he had cried we had even fought about it when I got back from the abortion clinic he was like don’t touch me I’m mad. Its our son. I told him we can’t bring a child to suffer in this world 🌎 to live in poverty and he said what poverty we are good I work make money it won’t come to suffer. We were already having problems in our marriage just stupid fights before the pregnancy I was 6 weeks pregnant this abortion just after the abortion after I woke up I just felt so empty literally felt different and felt my womb so empty. It was such a strange feeling I love him and he has been acting a bit better hasn’t talked about it much and I’m like when I had the abortion you talked about it and you were mad about it but now you say that the last is the past I’m just like how could he act like the past is the past now it was his too. At the beginning he blamed it all on me saying it was my fault he was like then don’t fuck if you don’t want to get pregnant aborting is a sin and god will send you something because god doesn’t like those things. Now I guess he has been feeling guilty that he is acting a bit nicer with me after the abortion but I’m like I keep thinking about this abortion more then him and dreaming about it when I’m the one who wanted to abort. I guess it’s normal because he is the man he wasn’t the one who aborted and had to go threw it. He has even been wanting to have sex again and the other day told me to give him a blow job. I do want to have sex again with him badly sometimes but also feel fear of something being inside my vagina again thinking about him being inside me again I feel strange.