I want a baby so bad it hurts

Most of my life I never liked children so I thought I’d never want one. Then I started to change how I felt as I got older. I realized they weren’t awful and I even began to like being around them. Now I’ve been married for two years and I’ve been wanting a baby for a year and a half of that. For a long time it felt more like baby fever. My hormones would drive me nuts when I was around babies and toddlers. But in this past month it’s gotten so much more intense. So much to the point that my period was late this month and I took a test. When it came out negative I almost cried. This feeling I have is so indescribable and borderline painful. It no longer feels like a want to me. It feels like a need. Like a step that’s supposed to happen. Like I have a baby and I just haven’t met them yet. We aren’t in a place at all to have a baby considering we are still just in an apartment and especially not with the way this virus is going. But my mind is getting tired of repeating my reasons. I’m getting less rational. It’s too the point if I hold a small or baby animal I don’t want to let them go. I just want that feeling forever. I’m scared of feeling like this. I’m confused. I’m emotional. I just don’t know how to move past this.