Hi everyone. I’m hoping some of you are feeling the way I am right now and can relate. I could just really use a sounding board and some input from women who are actually experiencing these same emotions I am. We all need to lean on one another!

My husband and I were planning on making this the year we start TTC for our first child, obviously not knowing what would come with that - any difficulty getting pregnant, etc. Trying of course is very different from actually becoming pregnant, so the goal was to at least try by the end of the summer. With COVID being in the picture, we’ve stayed on track with our plans, making sure vaccines are current, staying healthy, prenatals etc., but are becoming increasingly worried as the end of the summer gets closer and COVID seems to be getting worse.

I’ve consulted some nurse friends who have actually made me more confused. Some say wait until there’s a vaccine because they’ve seen young otherwise healthy mothers in the ICU with covid, others say this is something that will be with us for a very long time and the best we can do is adapt and be safe. My husband is feeling more confident than I am. He’s thinking that so long as we’re careful and clean, and limit our exposure with other people, and we get our flu shots, we should be fine.

I do agree with him for the most part, I’m just afraid of the unknown. I hate having such limited data on how this virus impacts pregnant women and their babies and even as we acquire more, will it even matter? The flu can be deadly to pregnant women, but it’s never stopped people from conceiving each year. Is this more of the same? I truly am so confused on what to do.

All I can say is, my journey to wanting a family on my own has been very personal to me. I never wanted to agree to have children for anyone, including my husband, unless I was all in. I wanted to get to a point in my life where I was itching for a baby because I was SO excited to raise a child of my own and give it all the love in the world. I knew once I felt that way, if ever, I’d be ready to have children. Well I did get there, sometime last year, and my husband and I began making the plans to TTC this year, only to have our whole world be flipped upside down as I know we all have. I’m feeling so lost and confused and afraid for my unborn baby and my own health, but at the same time get so depressed thinking about putting off this decision for a year or more if I wait for a vaccine. What if I end up having trouble getting pregnant? I have no prior experience with pregnancy, so I have no idea how my body will react.

I’d love for any of you to weigh in on your feelings on this topic and what made you decide to, or not to, TTC during covid. Appreciate the honest responses!