Self blaming after failed relationship šŸ˜¢

Right now Iā€™m feeling crushed . My boyfriend of 10 months and I have officially split up and the break up was terrible. A lot of yelling and provoking. He started off so perfect. He made me feel like I was perfect. And up to this day he still did a lot of the time but the moment I ā€œacted differentlyā€ he would put me down. If I had a attitude with him he would call me a bitch and tell me basically how Iā€™m not doing anything right. I ran up and down the road pretty constantly to be with him every day. I used up my time and when heā€™s mad he says I donā€™t ever do anything for him. We argued all the time. Usually didnā€™t go a week without a argument but it was always my fault. Iā€™m not the easiest person to get along with but Iā€™m so confused. One day he is telling me he canā€™t wait to start a family with me then literally the next day if Iā€™m in a shittty mood, I donā€™t deserve to be with him.. why is it like this. Iā€™m depressed as heck right bow.