I got with my boyfriend about nine months ago and we were really happy at the start. At that point I had just come out very weird and complicated relationship like two months prior and then started dating my current boyfriend.

The previous relationship I was in before my current boyfriend now Was very lacklustre for what I hoped it was but can’t expect the world at so young but that’s what I now have with my current boyfriend. I had limited attention and I was really hurt that them but looking back now he tried but it was very hard hitting for me because I was so into the relationship which he wasn’t and I’m including this just in case it seems to have any connection into why I’m not dealing with my current relationship very well because for me I feel like that has some sort of association with it.

Everything was going very well until now and things have got really complicated and bad. I’m not trying to sound conceited or high and mighty but I’m usually really known to others to treat people really well and openly and respectfully. But for some reason with this boyfriend I’m currently with who has helped me through a lot of stuff and a lot of things and been there for me through everything literally is in love with me no matter how many people think we’re too young I know from being with him and him being my boyfriend how we’ve truly feels and it’s really shown through his actions and everything he does. But I have been such a bad girlfriend as much as he tried to say I haven’t I just know deep down in my heart this is not the way I am and I don’t know why I’m treating on him badly. And at the start of the relationship he was skinnier than he is now and this so disrespectful of me but I’m just not attracted to him as I was before I’ve talked to him about it and he’s really trying to change it and fix it but I deep down feel so bad for even feeling that way but yet I still do.

I’ve Gone back and forth from breaking up with him or staying with him because not matter how much I try to love him or treat him better and better myself for him because I truly care so much about him no matter how much I don’t seem to show it I always feel myself when he’s not around that I want him around but also when we’re together We have so much fun together and when I’m on the verge of breaking up with him when I look at him I just can’t bring myself to break up with him.

I don’t know what’s going on in my head and I just need so help and advise of maybe guidance please...