I got pregnant during a rough time. i just ended my relationship with my ex cause i cheated on him with my sons father. I thought the best thing to do was to step back from the situation and figure out what i really wanted so i told him i needed a break. I didn’t have a job at the time, i was severely depressed, my ptsd was popping out, and when my son went to his fathers on the weekends i spent those three days completely drunk, black out on my butt... i was a complete mess. all my money went to diapers, cigs and alcohol and i really didn’t do much. well i found out i was pregnant and i freaked out. I told my ex and my sons father cause either of them could have been the father of the baby 🤷🏼‍♀️ and i just kinda spiraled.. i really couldn’t handle a baby.. my first thought was getting a abortion cause i was already suicidal at the time and i was like i cant kill myself if im preggy so me and the guys got together enough money to get the pill and i ended up getting the abortion. I went thru it alone. The pain, the guilt, grieving and the burial.. and it just sucked. i didn’t have anyone to talk to and i ended up completely coming apart after that. I just stayed black out for days, and tried to kill myself six times in a week. I lost all my memory of October and ended up in the crisis center where they got me on my meds and back to normal but im still sad about it all... i wish things didnt have to go like that but tbh i wasnt going to be able to take care of that baby. I wasnt even able to take care of myself. I just wish i had more support during that time cause even tho in my heart i knew it was the right thing to do it still hurt alot ☹️