So I’ve had quite a hard pregnancy so far, I’ve had such anxiety about giving birth naturally after some past health issues and due to my history have decided on a C section.

I feel like I’ve had to make that important decision by myself and my partner hasn’t had much to say on it. I’m also uncomfortable with breast feeding but have decided to try and also pump but I’ve had to really research everyrhing!

My partner isn’t one to show much (if any) emotion and I struggle so much with this as I’m the opposite. I doubt he will cry when she is born or show much, he didn’t on our wedding day. I feel like I’ve pretty much tried to do everything, write a list of things we need, bought stuff we’ve needed for the baby more than he has, obviously not a competition but he just doesn’t seem that present. I feel like I’m doing most of it alone. The virus has ruined a lot of first time mum experience for me as well as the chance for him to be present at scans. I know he is happy and excited but I’m just finding it difficult. He talks to his mum a lot about stuff but not to me, we wouldn’t speak about things unless I bring them up.

I see couples so happy their partners are running their bump, kissing it and stuff but he never does that. I had to get him to put his hand there to feel her moving. He has done it once or twice and I’m 24 weeks pregnant. When it was Father’s Day I got him something he wanted and got a nice lunch delivered, I didn’t even get a card for mother’s day 😞

I love him but just feel how we are and how we show things is really different and it’s such a struggle. He’s never done anything wrong to me but I just feel most of the time I’m doing this alone but I think it’s just how he is. I thought pregnancy and fatherhood would bring out a different side to him but we are just quite different in ways.

Just wondered if anyone else has been through similar or any advice and to get it off my chest as I’ve been an emotional mess all afternoon!

Any bit of advise is appreciated 💖

Breastfeeding schedule/diaper log