Fiancé is sexually obsessed with my friend UPDATE

Sooooo this is me, the girl with the fiancé and the friend “Rachel” who he was masturbating to and talking about in his sleep. They aren’t letting me edit it because of the poll, but so many of you were concerned that I felt like I owed y’all an update. I also want to stay anonymous because it’s kind of embarrassing.

I tried to solve the issue by having him delete his Facebook and Instagram accounts. He did, but I felt like Christian based therapy needed to happen too. He drove off furiously and disappeared for hours when I asked him to go to therapy, so the deleting was the only thing we could really do. I didn’t confront Rachel because there is now another flirty woman in his life who he has developed an infatuation with, and it’s only been around a week since I came home to him doing inappropriate things with her pics.

Basically, this girl at his work Taylor* is known as the “office slut” and a lot of the guys have hooked up with her. She’s overweight but has a cuteish face, and I think the killer for the guys is her long blond hair. I’ve met her and she was really rude to me. He told me he thought she was ugly!!

Anyway, I caught him masturbating again and I know it was over her. It was the middle of the night and I woke up hearing “click click click” and the bed shaking, and it stopped, and then it started back up again and I realized he was playing with himself under the covers while I slept. I pulled the covers back and he jumped up. He got really angry with me when I caught him. So mad he punched a hole in our door and had a full temper tantrum. It was honestly scary and I thought about calling the police, but he went into the bedroom and slammed the door. I went in there and he was face down on the bed, screaming into his pillow and furiously kicking his legs. I was crying at sat next to him. He gave me a speech about “temptation.” He was talking really fast and furiously and he sounded like a crazy person.

I begged him “why are you doing this why.” I was so sad. He finally surrendered the phone to me and he was crying too, and told me to look at his group chat with his work friends. I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were sending screenshots of provocative pictures from Taylor’s Facebook over the group chat. Office slut sure is the right word... 2 of the pictures were shot from the back, with her literally pulling leggings up her butt and turning around with a teasing smile. I’m not even joking. She even had one of her pulling a THONG BIKINI up her butt while she sat on her knees at the beach, with her turned around with a duck face. I’m sure there were more but I couldn’t even look. I’m sure he had touched himself to all of them. The guys were literally sending these to each other! I guess deleting the Facebook was of no use.

At first, I felt like “why me? Why do other couples not deal with girls going after their spouse, yet all these girls are after mine??” Then it hit me: I don’t masturbate every time a guy shows me attention or every time an attractive male photo appears in my life. He has a serious sexual addiction. He still refuses therapy.

He said he was going to bring it up at our life group (church) meeting yesterday. I tried to encourage him by bringing up “temptation” as a theme, and he remained silent. I tried to have a conversation in the car ride home, trying to find out why he didn’t talk to our church group like he said he was going to, and it was no use. He almost broke my car by slamming his fists over and over on my dashboard so hard on the ride home. The whole car was shaking and it was really scary. He had another fit. If you have read my past post, you remember he suffers from bipolar disorder, but won’t take his medication. Well, he still won’t. He even went as far as to tell me he doesn’t even think he is bipolar, but I know he is as he is diagnosed and these violent fits just get worse.

I can’t even focus at work and I’m so humiliated. I also have been worried I’m pregnant because I’m late on my period. Thankfully, I got a negative pregnancy test, and instantly called my mom after the test showed negative and told her everything. I stayed the night over there and he didn’t even contact me. When I came back this morning, he was gone, and left an old bathing suit catalog of mine tucked between the mattress and bed frame, and it was my sign that he would never change and I need to leave. You ladies I’m sure think the same thing I thought: he was using THAT catalog to touch himself too!

Because of his fits, I’m sort of scared for my safety (my mom brought up a good point about how punching doors and car dash boards is a sign he could be physical towards me next time). I decided, he can keep our furniture for now, packed everything I could this morning and everything I valued, and I just got back to my mom’s. Thankfully he didn’t come home while I was packing. I don’t even know where he is. I haven’t even unpacked the car yet, but I wanted to update y’all that I have left and I believe I will be breaking off the engagement.

Im heartbroken because he is my first love, but I believe men can be resistant to temptation with effort. Maybe his bipolar makes it harder, but if he won’t seek therapy, Christian counsel from our group, OR take his medication, I don’t know what else to do. I’m also beginning to fear him. Each time I catch him or bring up his toxic habit, the outburst is more violent and more scary. I also wanted to have a baby young, so I feel frustrated I might have to start from scratch. Do you girls have any idea why he hasn’t texted or called? Also, do you think it’s done for good? Is there something I could have done to keep him faithful to me?