My daughter never stops moving during the night and since she sleeps with me, I don't get any sleep. It's been taking my head to bad places after 9mo of it. She's been a reflux baby from the get go so she could never be put down and has yet to sleep in her crib. This maddening ritual of 2 good night's of her not moving As much then it turns to nights like this of fighting with her to go to sleep. I've wanted, waited, tried, failed 4 losses and finally got my rainbow baby...but I now feel I'm being punished for something and I don't know what. Cause why would I have to go through so much loss and hurt just to have to go through This?! Am I bad mom and that's why? Am I raising her wrong? What?!! I can't take it! I can't take regretting what I've waited for for 16 years. I don't understand.

*Update* (if you wanna call it that)

STILL not getting any sleep with my daughter. She's fighting sleep tooth and nail STILL. She sees her doctor in the morning, but if this woman tells me it's "teething" again... I'll deck her. THIS is Not normal or teething. Something is wrong, like really wrong with her. I'm absolutely losing my mind. And when I was trying to make her appointment yesterday (since it's now 4:21am!) the damn nurse asks me if she's cranky after "rolling around all night" wtf does it matter if she is or isn't?! Point is.....MY DAUGHTER ISN'T SLEEPING REAL SLEEP! I can't even finish this cause I have to go back to fighting with my 10month old and struggle to keep awake