I really need some insight right now.

I really really love my husband, but I am so unhappy. And I don’t want to get a divorce if this is considered something small or insignificant. I don’t want to make the wrong decision.

Ugh I am in tears as I type this because I love this man so much....

So my husband is a closeted porn addict. And his addiction is tearing me to pieces. I see so many women on here okay with their man watching porn but I just can’t bring myself to be okay with it. His porn addiction significantly effects our sex life. In a two year time span we have had sex twice. I try hard to get him in the mood yet he is never in the mood and blames having low testosterone yet he masterbates to porn on a daily basis. He has also lied and secretly has gone out to strip clubs while we have been married. I have told him numerous times I’m NOT okay with it and I think it’s a sign of disrespect. Yet he continues to lie about his where-abouts and continues this behavior.

I feel like these are things that other women are okay with so I feel weird wanting a divorce from him for this reason... I mean if someone were to ask “why are you splitting” I would be embarrassed to admit “because I didn’t like that he watched porn or that he went to strip clubs”.....but my self esteem just can’t take it anymore. I feel so inadequate. I feel unattractive. I feel ugly and unworthy. I hate that I have all these negative thoughts running through my head constantly due to his actions.

And I know some of you will suggest talking to him. And I have, over and over and over again. It always ends one of two ways. He agrees to cut back, but it only lasts a few weeks, or he gets defensive and refuses to change.

I hate that I’m in this situation because if it wasn’t for the porn and strip clubs we would be PERFECT!!