So here’s the issue and sorry about the length! With my first child I had not wanted my MIL in the room when our child was born but felt forced at the time and eventually gave in because my husband was nervous and not helpful in any way at all for my entire labor. Having her there took some stress off of me from having to try and calm his anxiety when I was going through a lot of my own plus the pain of labor. My mother was also present which is feel is pretty normal in a lot of cases and she ended up being my rock throughout the 14 hours we labored.

For this next birth, we are choosing to do a home birth for several reasons, including the fact that I can include my mom again despite the COVID restrictions that are present in hospital births. Without the option for pain meds or epidural, I feel that with her as my support I am less likely to be transferred and less likely to give up.

However, my husband is upset that his mom is “being left in the dark” and doesn’t understand why I would rather her not be present during labor and delivery. For one, it was extremely awkward and two, I feel that having her present took away his attention from me when I needed it most the first time around. He is not understanding why my mom is being asked to be a part of things and feels that he doesn’t have any support for himself (which I don’t feel is necessary given I am the one contracting and pushing out a baby). My mom is great at redirecting and refocusing him so I don’t feel worried about him not having a support person present for himself.

Am I wrong in feeling this way? I will take any advice at this point, any opinion would be helpful even if anyone sees this differently than me! Baby isn’t due till December but this is a current stressor that we do not need at the moment.