Mom said fat women aren’t happy and ridiculed me until I cried.
So I’m 20 years old and I’m home for the summer right now I’m a raising college junior. I never liked being home so being at school is really the best for me, but this summer I have been fat shamed more than ever and it’s by my own mother. No one else has EVER called me fat before atleast not to my face and it hurts I’m particularly hurt today and can’t stop crying. I’ll explain, so I went bike riding for about an hour when I came in it was 9 and I was hungry so I make a bowl of Frosted Flakes and she sits there watching with a smirk on her face and says “do you eat because you’re hungry or do you eat because you want to” and I explained I’m hungry I just biked for an hour, she then proceeded to tell me I’ve gained weight regardless of riding my bike and that I’m going to end up like Lizzo or Monique and I said “no I’m not and why bring them into this those women are happy with themselves “ and I said I’m no where near being their size regardless and my mom told me no fat woman is happy and that if your thighs touch you’re fat.. even though her thighs touch most people’s thighs touch. But I tried to ignore it and started eating my cereal anyway and she said “I don’t think you’re hungry you’re just eating to be eating you’re going to get fat like your cousins and your aunts and lizzo and Monique” so at this point I’m like fine I won’t eat then she tries to make me feel crazy saying “okay you need psychiatric help you can’t just not eat you can’t survive without eating just eat less” and I’m like “why can I not eat when I’m hungry” and she says “because you’re as big as me and you haven’t even had children yet just imagine how you’ll blow up when you do get pregnant you’ll never lose that weight and you will eventually get fat like lizzo because you’re not losing you’re gaining” so I broke down at that point and went upstairs, my dad had a talk with her about how she shouldn’t ruin my confidence if I’m happy with myself and that I’m a nice size and if I wanna eat then let me eat but she goes crazy yelling and saying “I don’t want her to get fat! She won’t like it! Monique used to be fat as fuck and look how she lost all that weight and she’s happy now” my dad and my boyfriend have both been trying to console me but its not just this one time I’m so tired of this😭 I was bullied in highschool, not for weight but just for being shy and now I have to deal with bullying at home I was perfectly happy at school and now I don’t even want to leave my room I can’t stop crying and I don’t know why 😭😭😭 my dad tried to make her apologizebut she didn’t and said I turned it into a bigger deal than it was and interpreted it the wrong way and went on to mock me by yelling erratically and pulling her hair while running in circles when I did none of that.. all I did was cry, she called me sensitive and said I’m too old to break down like this and asked how I’m a psychology major and plan to help people when I act like this. I just don’t even feel safe to eat in my own home anymore I’m ridiculed almost every time she gave me the most disgusted look when I asked for an apology like I was crazy. I just don’t know what to do? Should I lose weight so she’ll be quiet about it? I’m sick of being harassed I’m still crying and this happened a while ago. I’m so sorry for the long post but I’m so upset, I’ll add pictures for reference of my weight. Sorry the pictures aren’t very good I hardly take any.
But I didn’t feel fat at first I liked the way I looked and I feel disgusting now 😭 I didn’t want to lose weight but what do I do? I can’t keep my weight I’ll get made fun of by my mom.
Update: thank you all so much for your kind words and advice 😢 I appreciate all of you so much. I’m going to avoid contact with my mom even though I’m living here for the summer. It’s only 3 more weeks before I move back into my dorm so I think I can handle it. She’s not going to apologize, she never does, she is toxic and a narcissist. After I finish college in the spring 2022 I’m completely done with her and as for this last year I plan on finding a campus job for next summer so that I can stay at my college.