I just needed to get all of this out of my brain somehow. I’m just unsure where to go from here.

My husband (American) and I (Canadian) were in Canada waiting for immigration paperwork to go through for me to come south. Covid-19 hit and we got stuck North without work or immigration paperwork. Finally at the beginning of June, we figured out how to get me south legally, arrived safe and stayed in Grandparents spare bedroom in their tiny condo until we could find our footing.

We still haven’t found our footing.

My husband got a job almost immediately working 50 - 60 hours a week, which was a blessing. But then our car broke down (we fixed what was needed to get it at least drivable, but it’s breaking down again in other areas.) we can’t seem to be able to find an apartment we can afford, and whenever we do, it’s either not available, or they deny us because I’m an unknown without a social security number. (I’m only here as a visitor. My passport is stamped for December 4th.)

Finally our midwife here, who is a godsend of a woman, offered us her trailer temporarily, which my husband’s family said we could park in their driveway, they’ve parked RVs there before. We accepted the offer, parked the RV, moved our few belongings into the RV, only to find out that the AC in the RV will not work because it kept blowing fuses and flipping breakers. “Oh! That’s why we couldn’t get the other RVs we’ve parked here at this ancient farm house to work! the breakers are too small to handle much more than a vacuum cleaner. Who knew.”

Would have been nice to know the other RVs hadn’t worked before!

We ordered a small portable AC unit that uses less power, and a week later it finally arrived. Got hooked up just Sunday night. We can finally sleep without melting. But Monday rolled around... and the little unit just can’t keep up. It still reaches 95*+ in the RV during the day. Oh, and did I mention it’s not hooked up to water? So we need to use my in-laws bathroom and kitchen for everything.

So I’m a week and a half away from my due date, with an Aluminum oven parked outside my in-laws crowded, dusty (let’s be honest, it’s dirty,) farmhouse which already has a family of 7 (youngest of whom is a busy and loud 9-year-old-boy) living in it with no spare room, not even in the basement. I have nothing unpacked. Nothing ready for baby. I can’t go into my “home” during the day for fear of passing out. Our car is dying, we don’t have much in savings anymore, and I’m in a foreign country away from my family. And we need to decide if we’re going back to the grandparents small spare room an hour away, or try to coexist with my in-laws, or I don’t know what...

I just don’t know where to go from here. I’ve even started losing the nesting drive because I just can’t nest. I’m starting to barely find the energy to remember to eat lunch. I’m at the end of what I can handle, I think.