What words of wisdom/ advice would you share about IVF?

Question

What would you tell others to help through this journey? Anything you wish you knew before you started? 
I wish I knew only very lucky people are successful first/second go... for many others it takes numerous cycles and multiple transfers. 
- Don’t compare yourself to others! 
- TIME.... everything takes a lot of time and there is so much waiting! 
- You can not control ANYTHING! No matter how hard you try. 
- Being positive is not always easy when faced with heartbreak 
- there are SO many amazing women going through this right now, no one would believe it.... and they are warriors 🌈💕💛 xxxx

Answer

I love this, Bon! Thank you for sharing!
- I would say I was surprised how much a failed transfer feels like a true loss. More so than other months of TTC (which are also completely heartbreaking), because I know for a fact there was a little embryo alive inside of me for a time. And the hopes I had for that little life are extinguished when I see the single pink line.  
- I second your point that sometimes it takes multiple rounds. We were so confident (including our doctor) that our first transfer would work. It’s incredibly defeating. 
- I hope every woman going through IVF finds a supportive group of women like this. I can’t imagine going through it alone. Or even with just friends/family support. Something about other women who know what you’re going through is so helpful —especially on the extra tough days.

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Talk to other women going through it. I love my RESOLVE support group.

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I'd add 
- Don't take time off work after your transfer to relax at home. The waiting and obsessing is so much worse without distractions and it is NOT relaxing 🤣
I'd second the "don't compare yourself to others" thing:
- Don't compare your number of follicles/eggs retrieved/blasts with anyone else. Some women are insanely lucky and get like 20 embryos, whereas others have only a few (like me). You can't control it and comparisons will just make you feel helpless.

Answer

- advocate for yourself! Don’t be scared to ask questions even if they seem to be silly.  If you have an idea, run it by your doctor or nurse. Don’t ever think that you are annoying for calling/emailing million times - you are not! Please don’t sit home wondering answers.

Answer

I’d like to add: DO NOT EXPECT too much & don’t rely on a certain timeline. IVF is trial and error. Some women have a smooth ride through but many many MANY women hit at least one road block & lots of times multiple roadblocks are hit. Literally all of us have experienced this with the pandemic. Some women has had lining issues which halted them moving forward, or like me ( I had a cyst which could of potentially halted me moving forward), some women dont respond to stims well, some women end up with no PGS normal blasts, some women end up with no blasts at all, some women get pregnant and have chemicals, some women get pregnant and miscarry before their second trimester. You have to expect the unexpected. Remember to celebrate every single milestone during the process because some women don’t make it there. Do not let set backs allow you to lose hope! I started my journey in December with a bunch of preliminary testing thinking I’d be pregnant by February at the latest. One failed IUI & a completed IVF cycle later here I am in JULY still awaiting my transfer! My IVF cycle alone has taken 5 months when I originally expected 2. This journey has made me so much stronger. It has made me be incredibly thankful for the 8 embryos I have, it has made me love them with every bone in my body so much more than I ever anticipated. Let your IVF journey make you & not break you. Be realistic & be hopeful. Lastly, treat your body as though you’re already pregnant... & tell yourself that you WILL be a mother everyday... no matter how long it takes ❤️

Answer

This is wonderful! 👏 ❤
I'd also add: 
Take time out to relax. 
Enjoy your partner. 
Have sex and not just for baby making purposes. 
And make small changes that you plan to stick with to keep yourself healthy both physically and mentally. 
Positive vibes to all! 🌠

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Thank you ladies, these are good words of advice. I want to add : 
If you fail, dont blame yourself or your partner. You are no less of a woman just because your IVF cycle failed.

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Agree with everyone!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Amazing words everyone 💕 thank you! 
I am learning and I am challenged everyday on this journey. Holding hope  and sending positive vibes that we are all able to welcome our own little bubs into the world very soon 💛💕 xxx

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It WILL take time! I would say keep your life going as much normal as you can. Keep planing and taking holidays, changing jobs, accepting promotions or new challenges. Sometimes we need new things in our life😊
I also remember some words someone shared and I read in the beginning of my ivf journey saying that friends and family members pregnancies shouldn’t make us unhappy and we should be happy for them. It was so hard as we usually are suffering in silent and people usually don’t understand what we are feeling but I always kept this in my mind to keep me going with my life.

What words of wisdom/ advice would you share about IVF?

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