Scary part is coming

I'm officially 20 weeks and half way. I should be excited but I'm entering the scary part for me. Why you ask? In just 4 weeks I had my son. He only lived 3 days. They don't know why but my dr has taken double precautions including cevical cerclage and weekly progesterone shots. But I'm still nervous that was the worst week of my life and I don't ever wanna relive. I wish my pregnancy was normal but its not and I don't know how to be positive. 😢😣😖