Hi Glow lovelies ♡

I have decided to come up on here to say how I feel and what has been going on.

It's now been quiet a while and now I am really hurting bad and very upset about this.

If I can get any advice on what to do about this instead of being teased and spoken bad to, I'd appreciate the helpful advice 🥺

I am going to apologize if this message gets too long but I'd like to explain properly so I can be understood properly to get some advice otherwise it's just too confusing for all of us with this post 👀

My partner and I (now fiance) have been together for a very long time. I understand and I know that every relationship has their ups and downs BUT if you really do love and care for that person you would be honest, respect them, love them and just be for that person only and no1 else.

🥺🥺 Am I the one that's wrong or am I crazy for just wanting him and not others?!

Anyway.. I see and think this way. If you really want to be with that person you will work it out no matter how hard it is. Whether it will make you heartsore or angry, atleast work it out and be honest instead of doing wrong and hurtful things.

💔 💔 💔

So recently I went onto his phone and I saw his history of searching naked women / girls (everything shows clearly and so close) and also he was on chatsites 🥺👀😱💔

COME ON.....If you had to see it you would also be turned off, hurt and feel disrespected!!

So now, I was honest and told him that I go on his phone to see if his still doing it or not and you know what, I told him because he changed his password on his phone too!!!! He doesn't leave his phone lying around anymore. Maybe it was stupid of me to say but least I'm honest and trying to work / talk about these problems.

Then his answer to me was ...

"think what I want"......

"I've got personal / private things I dont want you to see because I'm planning a surprise for you".....

"why go on my phone, it's not yours".....

🤨🤔🤨

The only reason he has ever changed his pin was when he got caught out before and doesn't want me to see!!! I am not dumb.

He did mention that I don't spend enough time with him but I did tell him why I don't like I use to.

I don't because i feel not enough / pretty for him anymore. He has his porn / chatsites so why ask for my attention if I told him how I feel of what his doing wrong to hurt me 💔🥺💔

I feel I'm not enough or pretty for him anymore because he goes and does those things. HOWEVER I do appreciate him saying that he has a problem with that but I feel that if he really wants me to be his "future wife" he better step up, stop what his doing and treat me better!!

Otherwise i will look for someone and tell them our problems so i can understand what is going on in his head so we can talk this out.

I also told him straight that, what if I had to do that and he saw it.. how would he feel. Would he just leave and not talk or what. He mentioned before that he would just leave but now all of a sudden he said people change so he will sit and talk decent about why and so on.... 😱🤔👀🤨 sorry but this is CONFUSING!!!!

I feel so uncomfortable with my body because I see what he searches online and it makes me feel worthless and useless like I'm fat and not worthy. It really breaks a woman up in a million pieces 💔 although he says there is nothing wrong with my body but then he searches those things.

I am built small. I dont have big boobs.. I dont have the sexiest body or the perfect booty (he says I do) but why look at others online better looking than me😶😣

That's why I say and feel that I'm not enough or pretty for him anymore.

You want to know what hurt the most what he said to me last night........ 🥺😣😥😰

I asked him.. why doesn't he ever just hold me when I cry?? You know what his answer was. "I wasn't brought up that way".. WOW. I mean, cant he think for himself a bit further?!

I mean when he is really upset and hurt about something, I put my arms around him but he can't do it for me?? That's really deep pain 💔💔💔

His patience with me is also not nice.

I really do love and care for him so much. I just dont know why he always turns the story around and makes me look / feel like the bad one so he looks innocent.

Ps.....

This is something completely different but I also feel that his also not into me anymore because I cannot have a baby. I can't carry a baby and that alone breaks me badly 😭

💔 I am also not wearing my ring because he is not respecting me or treating me nicely. I will wear it once he decides to be true and honest to me!