Hi, I just wanted to share as Iv no one else to talk to about this. I also think glow would remove my post no doubt if posted anywhere else!

My mum, who’s now in her 60s, had an abortion (forced by my grandparents) in the 1960s, when she’d have been about 16. I believe abortion hadn’t long become legal in the u.k then.

I knew nothing about this as I was growing up and it was only when I was in my 20s that she told me. She would have been quite far gone too, it had to be a surgical procedure, she told me that she was hiding her belly with baggy clothes too which tells me she may have been 20 weeks + as I didn’t show much at 20 weeks with my first child (my mum and I are very alike, almost look like twins when she was my age)

Her parents found out via another member of the family and back then, women were shamed if they had kids out of wedlock. So they forced her on the bus and into a clinic. She said she didn’t really understand (bare in mind she probably didn’t have any idea what they would do) and after it was done the lady said “we don’t want to see you back here” and my mum remembers it’s clearly to this day as it was so traumatic for her.

On to present day, well a few years ago now but I went to see a “psychic” just for the hell of it, most of what she said was give or take but she told me about a sister that had passed on, that she watches over me. I was confused as Iv never had a sister. Later on, I told my mum about it and she said that’s strange as when she’d had this abortion, the lady said afterwards “it was a girl”

I told the psychic about this abortion my mum had had, she said that babies grow up (wherever they go after passing on)

Although I’m not religious, I cry often thinking about my sister that never made it into this world, she never got the chance and it hurts to think about her and what she felt

My mum now is against abortion, she wishes she’d never done it, if she only knew what they’d done or were going to do, it would have meant being disowned for her sadly.

She went on to have my half brother at the age of 24, she still hid that from my grandparents, my grandad died before finding out and my Nan, insisted on adoption but when she saw her grandson, she wouldn’t give him up.

I hope my sister really is watching over me, she doesn’t have a name and I wish my mum would name her but it’s like she never existed, no grave, no remains, no nothing and that makes my heart hurt even more.