Feeling sad

I found out I am pregnant and 9 days late on my period. I can't afford a baby 😭 right now. Having a hard time as a single mom of a 8 year old boy. I work full-time and I won't have support from my family. I decided to schedule appointment at plan parenthood Thursday for the abortion pill. I should be around 3 weeks. I feel really bad, I love being a mom, just didn't expect this to happen to me. I just wanted to know how long it will take me to heal? Well I change as a person? I have faith, and I know this is not of what the Lord would want. But I am not prefect and we make mistakes. I feel really bad, but I know have too do it 😭😥😞