TTC depression is it ok?

So I’m gonna start by saying I have a son he’s almost three and I’m forever grateful❤️🙏🏻

We had no trouble conceiving the first time around

And this time we decided to start trying for #2 about three months ago but because of the pandemic and the fact that we were both a bit scared we postponed it a couple of months until now so we tried but no luck so far😪

Haven’t had my period yet but it’s due tomorrow and all tests are negative😞

And even though it’s our first month and I’m feeling this deep disappointment and sadness and can’t help but thinking did we have to start sooner?! Should I have expected this? Who knows how long it’s gonna take or if it’s ever gonna happen?! Was I not grateful enough for my first child? I know these thoughts are a bit too much but I can’t help it I guess it’s the bloody hormones🤬

So any thoughtful and helpful comments and stories will be helpful and make me feel better please share your thoughts and bring me out of my head🙏🏻