So, a bit of backstory. My daughter is 4. Her dad moved ten hours away when she was a year old, and they only saw each other through FaceTime a couple times a month and at Thanksgiving. He recently started dating this girl who lives in my town, and moved back to live with her and her six kids.

He has started getting our daughter for a few hours every couple weeks. We try really hard to get along, but I still feel bitter towards him. He has an alcohol problem, and has had drug addictions (I don’t think he’s currently on drugs, but I’m not around him enough to know for sure). He left her and barely paid child support, never really asked about her or her medical issues (nothing serious, but enough that she’s 4 and still not completely potty trained). He could never move back here for his daughter but quickly up and moved her for his new girlfriend.

Well, today she spent the day with him, his girlfriend, and two of her kids. We met up at Walmart for me to get her back, and we both had to pick up a few groceries. My daughter wanted to stay with them, so I told him I’d find him before I left and get her. Once I was done, I found them and he started to pull her out of the cart, and she looked at me and kept saying over and over “I don’t want you. I don’t want you.” And then she’d look at him and say “I don’t want her. I don’t want to go with her. I want you and (girlfriend name).”

I know she’s 4 and doesn’t understand the situation, especially since she’s never had to go through the back and forth of divorce parents until now. But damn. It broke my heart to pieces.

I do everything for this kid. I have poured my soul into this kid, do everything for her, and he shows up wanting to be a dad after three years. 😩 Then he calls and asks if she can spend the night this weekend, which I will let her do because it’s important for her to have a good relationship with him, and I want them to have a healthy relationship. But what happens if him and this girl break up? They seem to argue a good bit from what I’ve seen and he doesn’t seem to like her kids. Will he just move ten hours away back to his family if they break up? Would he stay here to be in our kids life? Where would that leave my daughter? Ugh. I just feel so uncertain about all of this.