Perineal massage, I'm scared!

My midwife wants me to start doing perineal massages. I am giving birth in a birthing center with no options for getting stitches if I suffer a large tear.

I obviously see the benefits of perineal "massage" in helping to prevent tearing..

But yall I'm scared! I've heard terrible things about this massage and I can barely reach my vag to wipe it so my body builder husband would have to fo it and he does not know his own strength!

I'd rather wait till I'm in labor and be in a pool to help prevent tears. Plus I've been using oil on my perineum every night for months!

Is it really that bad? Does anyone have any advice or tips?