Okay so this is going to be a really long story i got married at 19 after having my son & we were super in love but we started fighting alot & we lost connection because he had a drug problem so i finally left in 2016. i was so happy being single i did not want another relationship well 8 months later i met a guy on fb he is 4 years younger than me he had just turned 18 & i was 22 at first i did not like him at all because he was younger & i had 2 kids & he had none but he ended up being completely different than i expected he was super responsible, caring, kind hearted, & mature so i fell for him & we have now been together for 4 years. right after our first year we got pregnant & had a baby girl he was an amazing dad & he had an amazing connnection with his daughter. Well he started getting really jealous of my ex (my sons dad) because we still talked because we had to coparent for my son & im not really sure why he was jealous because i never did anything to make him have to be jealous but he was so it always caused problems well one day we were arguing about it & we broke up for like a day then we got back together & he ended up cheating on me (not with sex but sexting without pics) & he met up with her once while he had my daughter & i was at work & he kissed her on the forehead & she was holding my daughter & playing with her etc they later discussed thru text that he wanted to leave me to be with her & he told her he loved how she looked holding my daughter & asked how she liked the kiss etc, we got past it skip ahead a year & then he did it 2 more times also without sex & one of those times he took a girl to the movies & told me he was going with his male friend while i stayed home pregnant with baby #2 & our already born daughter well that pregnancy was super hard he had said he didnt want the baby he didnt want me etc etc we ended up splitting up & i moved rooms cause i was going to school & not working we ended up getting back together & moving past it well then my sons dad passed away & my son got depressed & diagnosed with adhd well i never realized how much i still loved his dad until he passed away but i have to hold all these feelings i have for him inside because i dont wanna tell my bf i don't think he will understand & i dint want him to feel insecure but anyways now the problem is that i feel very distant from him, i dont like him touching my body (unless we are having sex which is super rare) i never want to have sex with him only maybe 1 every 2 months (& i never felt the need or desire to play with myself but now i do) & i dont like sleeping in the bed with my bf i honestly kinda want us both to live in seperate houses & everything he does annoys me i barley even like to kiss him & i get disgusted when he sleeps naked or when i have to hear him pee but i still love him & want a future with him & see myself being with him but idk why i am feeling like this do you think this is normal ?? I should also add that he hasnt been talking to any other girls or anything since i was pregnant which was like 14 months ago (he even deleted on his own any naked models on his social media) & he works everyday & doesn't hit me or anything like that he is a good guy but he does get mad or give attitude quite often over small things like me asking him to do something.