My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and have a one year old. His best friend recently came out as transgender (male to female) and now goes by the name Chelsea, wears dresses, makeup, etc.

I don’t have a problem with transgender women and men, I’m happy that people are doing what makes them feel the most comfortable in their own skin. But lately I realize that my boyfriend and I still slip and call her by her birth name and use the wrong pronouns.

I feel bad and I asked my boyfriend if she gets bothered by it. He says that she’s never mentioned it but I don’t think she would tell him even if she did. They’ve been friends for almost 10 years and she’s super shy, especially when it comes to talking about her transition and being part of the LGBTQ+ community in general, because she thinks she’s going to be judged.

I don’t want to say anything that’s offensive or insensitive to her. I can’t imagine what she’s probably already going through. I’m just so used to calling her a him and calling her by her birth name that I mistakenly blurt it out sometimes out of habit.