Feeling insecure about my own body because of society

So I ordered cute crop tops and they arrived yesterday. I tried them on. There was one shirt I was really excited about and I didn’t like how it looked.

If you ladies know the clothing, Laura’s Boutique, she has very cute and sexy clothing.

Here is the top I was excited about.

But then I saw how my lonjas (rolls) would show I felt very insecure.

I’m 5’0

Small waist, wide hips, and big butt.

I feel like for my height, I don’t look good.

I feel like society made it seem that all the females shouldn’t have any rolls and tummy. That they should be perfect.

I like to be natural but now I see how the majority go for BBLs and I feel like I look horrible. I’d be happy how natural my body is and how I don’t need any surgery but the BBLs just made me feel like I got pushed behind the curtains.

(When I wear high waist jeans, I hate how my lower stomach looks.)

I stopped going through Instagram because that’s all I see, girls having flat tummies, no cellulite on their thighs, no strawberry legs, no ugly arms or underarms, they wear cute bikinis/clothing, and that makes me feel like I can’t pull anything off.

I’m over here feeling insecure about my body.

I know some girls wish they had a small waist, wide hips, and a big ass but it’s no fun. Trust me.

I get lower back aches because of how heavy my butt is.

I got another top that I wore today and I felt amazing until my mom asked me if there was a bigger size but it’s a crop top. *I’m a M sometimes an L. (Depending on the material)*

We went for groceries and as soon as we got to the store, I began to feel uncomfortable because I was thinking maybe I don’t look cute in these clothes.

Here’s the top I wore today:

Filter. Always filter because that’s the only way I’ll feel pretty.

I try my very best to be confident. Sometimes I’ll feel confident and then I end up feeling down because I see my tummy side ways and I don’t like how I look (I have a food baby sometimes)

I am trying to dress more girly and I never thought I’d be more insecure trying to dress more girly.

That’s when I began to notice my flaws a lot more. And what made it worse was this 👇🏼

Another thing I think I should add:

The first top, when I saw my rolls, I thought about, “what is my boyfriend’s family gonna say? What are they gonna think?”

The reason why I said that was because one day my boyfriend told me his dad called him towards the living room and he asked, “did you see the car?”

My boyfriend asked what car but what his dad meant was if he saw the girl that was outside.

The girl had booty shorts and had her shirt tied.

I was in the kitchen with my boyfriend’s mom.

My boyfriend felt uncomfortable and he let me know.

Now that made me feel even more insecure about my body.

Maybe his dad thinks I’m not good for his son. Maybe he wants someone better for his son as in someone who looks better.

When I’m over there place, I wear t shirts. I let my hair frizzy. They barely see me dressed up.

I just wanna be comfy.

I’m trying to be comfy and look cute at the same time but it’s hard.