Friends with benefits? It’s so hard when you have feelings


Hello everyone,

This is my story. I met this guy just recently, he had an emotional baggage from 4 mknths ago as he broke up with the girl he loved, she left him and he’s been broken for 4 months. I’ve been single for a long time and started seeing him after beung alone for so long. As I learnt about out age differences, he is 24 I’m 37, it was embarrassing at first, I told him I don’t think we can be more than friends, he was surprised then said age doesn’t bother him. We met 2 times everything was fine, he eas complimenting me also saying how amazing he is feeling when he is with me. He would talk about how he wants relationships to be and he hopes everything will be fine with us. He would text and call me after saying how he misses me. On the 3rd time we met he invited me to his place and things got intimate. I couldn’t resist and we had sex. It was great, then he hugged for long. He didn’t want me to leave, but I left. The next morning I realized I got attached to him emotionally. Not only I like him I also liked how I felt with him. I noticed he became a little distance after that, still texting and calling but not as often and not saying he misses me or anything. Just saying he wants me to come over, etc. He came to meet me, I told him that although I don’t know what to expect from this type of relationship and what If I have feelings for him. He said he was surprised to hear that and that he wants to be honest with me. He told me to be just FWB and not exprct him to have feelings back. As he explained that girl took away everything he had and he has nothing left to give to anyone else. He said maybe the chance that he will have feelings and wants to be in a relationship is only 10% and he offered me to continue and see how things will go without expectations. He said he got attached to me and if nothing works he will still want to stay as friends. I told him what about my feelings? It may get harder with time, he told me to choose either to be FWB or friends. I decided to leave him that moment, saying that even it’s not easy for me, but maybe this is less painful. He was upset and said he doesn’t want to let me go but if it’s what I want then he can’t do anything. When I got home he texted me again, saying that I rushed things and I decided for both of us. And that he didn’t want to promise me anything 100% but who knows what can happen. That was our last conversation and I tried to forget him, but after 5 days It was getting heavier on my heart. I couldn’t stop thinking of him and missing him. I had the urge to text him and see him. And I was so upset he didn’t text me at all. I was waiting for him to say something, yesterday I gave up and eventually texted him ‘I miss you’. He texted back that he misses me too. Then he told me that I know what he wants and if I want it too then let’s meet but if not what was my point of texting him? He said he was honest with me and I know what To expect if I continue with him. It would be easier for me to let him go , but I have strong feelings for him, I just can’t help and want to know what to do. I’m constantly thinking of if I should continue seeing him and maybe we get attached and eventually will grow strong feelings? But what if it doesn’t happen and he doesn’t feel the samw with me? What are the chances of things to change for him? As he said let’s continue as FWB and see what will happen. I really like him a lot and it’s so hard for me to lose him, I have never felt this before and I feel like I can’t have this feelings for anyone else. The way he talked to me yesterday still saying that he cannot give me false hopes for anything and if I go with him it’s my choice knowing what to expect. Not only the age difference but also this whole situation is making everything so hard. How do I get over this and make a right decision. It’s so hard for me to lose him but don’t want to be as a sex object. Do you think there’s a chance he will grow feelings with me or are these just my unrealistic expectations? What should I do in this case? I’m lost not knowing what to do and I cannot help my feelings towards him 😭🥺 I feel so empty and want him to be my everything. Please help with advice, I’m lost