i’ve struggled w trust issues my whole life. my dad cheated on my mom when i was younger, i was the one to find out about it.. tell my mom.. all that great stuff. went to therapy for years for it and ended up falling in love my first year of college. a relationship that everyone close to us saw ending in marriage. well low and behold the guy cheats.. found that out going thru his phone. (i’m really not the type to do so unless i have a gut feeling) four years later and i’m now in a relationship with an AMAZING AMAZINGGGGG man. he has his own traumas as well and makes it very known he’s not a cheater. my heart 10000% believes him, but my brain can’t shut my past off. we have been together a year now and littles things that didn’t use to trigger me are now doing so.. little little things. for instance, what he likes on instagram or who he follows. i have NEVER had this issue before and i cannot seem to understand why they are bugging me all of the sudden??

i refuse to be a girlfriend that controls what he does, what he likes, etc. we live together, basically spend every min that’s not at work together, etc. i have no reason to be acting the way i am!! i don’t know what to do or how to resolve this issue within myself.

i guess what i am asking is.. has anyone gone through this? does anyone have suggestions on how to deal with it? podcasts, blogs, ANYTHING? i love him.. i don’t want to lose him and i certainly don’t want to push him away with MY past traumas that didn’t involve him. any ideas and comments are appreciated :)