What even is dating?

Question

So I am 22, and I am not sure if I completely understand what dating is. (Dumb I know lol)
Is dating like were you guys are talking and hang out? Like does that mean you guys are pretty much boyfriend/girlfriend just without titles? 
Or is it boyfriend/girlfriend just said a different way?
Is it were you just go on a few dates but still can talk to other people? 
And what the heck is it even in 2020?
I honestly havent really been on a date, or at least that I know of. I have had a boyfriend. My first relationship was 2 and a half years long, most of it was long distance then we lived together for a few months, and broke up and still lived together (he is apart of the family now we ended on good terms. 
My second one was 2 years, we never went out to a movie or dinner unless we were with his family (is that a date we were both over the age of 18 but didnt do anything without his mom because she would get jealous and upset so it was all about her) 
My 3rd was only 8 months, we were roommate/really close friends and lived together than started dating. 
All of my boyfriends we just talked a lot over the phone hung out once or twice and then they asked me to be their girlfriend. 
I have been single for a year now and since my break up I didnt want a relationship at all. I wasnt interested, I wanted nothing to do with it. Until now, I have gained feelings for a guy out of no where! But its completely different then my other relationship I guess. (We arent together) we dont text all the time. We dont actually talk much (we both work a shit ton and work nights) dont get me wrong we do talk but most the day we dont. We hung out together for 3 days I went to work with him then we slept during the day and hung out that night then slept a bit and hung out a bit before I went home. Like we didnt do anything other than go to work and help his friend with his car. He told me he liked me, and I like him too I get butterflies in my tummy all the time just thinking about him. I have never wanted to be with someone so bad. Like ugh. I dont know tho. I dont wanna seem pushy, he has a crazy baby momma and he said she might freak out if he dates someone else and he might have a hard time seeing his kids. Which I get I dont wanna rush or make it hard on him. I also have a crazy ex that will also freak out. I am also very private about my relationships because of my crazy ex. 
But I really wanna be with this guy, he told me the last girl he was talking to went a little crazy and said she wanted to marry him and move in and have his babys after a week of seeing each other. I dont wanna push him away by asking him if we are gonna date later down the road. It's also kinda hard because we barely talk. He will just stop texting me randomly. Sure hes probably sleeping or working, but it's out of no where and we are sometimes talking about serious things. But I also dont wanna seem uninterested, because I am. But I don't know where that line is. I wish we would talk more, but I hate double texting and I dont like texting first just in case he is busy. He always leaves me on read if we stop talking. And once he was like "damn you must be one of those girls that never text first" which I use to text my exes first but with him I really dont wanna fuck up and push him away by seeming too clingy. I also really hate when people double text me, it annoys the shit out of me. So Idk if it annoys him. 
Is this dating? Could this turn into dating?
The fuck is 2020 and what does this mean ? How do you date?

Answer

I think the best thing is to have open communication of what this is are you exclusive or not. 
One thing I’ve always heard and 99% of the time it is true is that if someone is seriously interested in you, you will see it with their actions and not be left guessing or feeling like you are playing games. If he doesn’t reply and leaves you in read in the middle of a conversation constantly that is not the best sign imo. 
Also i get some people have crazy ex’s and it does make it complicated when children are involved. But what does it mean by his ex is crazy if she finds out he is with someone else? Does he want to keep you a secret? Secret relationships are usually a red flag for so many reasons. 
It sounds like the relationship is still pretty new and you aren’t exclusive. So it’s possible that it could go somewhere. But if he continues to ignore messages and kinda keep you a secret to not make waves with his ex then i don’t think he wants anything serious.

Answer

No one here can tell you exactly what dating is and isn’t because we’re a different generation (I mean we are different ages but we both were born in the 90’s and grew up in the 2000s and are a different generation from the ones for whom dating was something necessarily formal; I’m 27). And I know dating seems to be different to different people but certainly it’s more casual for ppl in their 20’s than it has traditionally been. 
I’ve only had 3 relationships, and the first one and I were “talking” for a few months before I agreed to go on a date with him and he took me to the symphony. I like music, so I wasn’t phased by this (little did he know, I was classically trained in piano, violin, guitar [classical guitar] and opera... I was all the way in my comfort zone despite his presumptions, which I let him keep). He was 13 years older 😬. Turned out the orchestra was doing this Pink Floyd concert, and the place was totally packed with people from all over. The orchestra was amazing, I was so impressed. And it was basically a Laser Floyd Symphony, and Pink Floyd is easily one of my top FAVORITE prog rock bands. The date started with a walk in a park and then dinner before the concert. Not the most pleasant date at all, since that motherfucker was chatty as hell and I had to shush him like 20x like it’s not incredibly rude to talk during a symphony (he kept trying to tell me about the damned sound guys, who he worked with, or what song was playing... like these songs are from one of my favorite bands, I’m only missing one album and my uncle has that one. What part of oh wow this is one of my favorite bands makes you think I don’t know what I’m listening to?) but that was my first adult date.  A few months of casual dating (we would occasionally go out, or hang at his house or my dorm) and I eventually had sex with him and made things official. Once things were official we kept going on dates (mostly dinner/bar dates and a bit of travel) but he wasn’t my boyfriend (even the whole time were dating and I wasn’t seeing other people) UNTIL we had the explicit conversation about seeing each other exclusively. 
A year after I dumped his crazy ass and he was still stalking me, I started a different kind of relationship. He was my neighbor, I knew he liked me, and I toyed with him. I teased him for months, eventually fucked him, and then told him he can bring offerings to the temple but not enter it (girl I was on some other shit lmao I really enjoyed fucking with this boy). So we had a really strange 8 month relationship where our only dates were to two Mexican restaurants where I was a regular (we ate at both several times, but that’s it... nothing like the cool dates w Crazypants the First). He became my room mate due to issues with his other room mate, and I started to see more and more of his crazy, which made me not want to be near him. But he became obsessed, and literally attacked me when I finally broke up with him by way of agreeing when he fake-broke-up with me (he was bluffing, but I was very done with him as a person). He was the one who was so set on calling us bf/gf... but I made it clear I wasn’t calling him that to my family. And he couldn’t really accept that he wasn’t someone I would ever take seriously, even though I was very upfront about the fact that I didn’t see him as “boyfriend material.” — We we’re still exclusive though and he’s still an ex in my book. I know I’m an ex in his. 
6mo later and I start what is now a 2 year relationship. He insists that he took me on tons of dates over the years (we’ve been friends for half our lives, best friends for years... he did court me [woo/try to date me] for years of that time but I remember zero official dates... we used to go out to eat very regularly but if those were dates I’m a cheater since our lunches and dinners never changed when I was dating someone else... they didn’t change until we were official since we Hold Hands now lol). Now with corona we can’t go out much (I don’t approve of social distancing in restaurants) but we have gone fishing and taken drives  and gotten takeout and gone airplane spotting. I want him to go big moon chasing with me so that’ll probably be our next “date” (that’s when you just drive and drive following the moon... you might end up somewhere you want to stay the night but you don’t have to)— & we’re going to the park where we used to make out as teenagers today to social distance with each other and just talk (we don’t always social distance, but he attended a baby shower where people weren’t taking precautions). 
Dating looks different for different couples and for different people and ESPECIALLY during 2020 like what the fuck is this year?  
I know my SO has had a handful of girlfriends who he told them, it wasn’t a serious relationship & didn’t have that potential. Like I did with my second boyfriend. 
I believe you have to spell things out to each other... expectations, and intentions (yes I have asked “what exactly are your intentions with me?” & proceeded to say so if I felt my expectations of a person with those expressed intentions were, or were not being met). Or how do you know? People assume too damn much in general, I don’t like the idea of starting a relationship not on the same page. 
Sometimes you have to bitch soap your insecurities and communicate your needs and desires, and brace yourself... because that’s called a conversation lol.

Answer

Dating is being in a relationship with someone. You don’t talk/sleep with other people unless your relationship allows that.

What even is dating?

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